Boundaries in Marriage Author: | Language: English | ISBN:
B00005AARI | Format: EPUB
Boundaries in Marriage Description
It takes two individuals to become one flesh. Only when you and your mate know and respect each other's needs, choices, and freedom can you give yourselves freely and lovingly to one another.
Boundaries in Marriage gives you the tools you need. Drs. Cloud and Townsend, counselors and authors of the best selling
Boundaries, share with you:
Why boundaries are vital for a thriving relationshipHow values form the structure of marriageHow to protect your marriage from intrudersWhy and how each partner needs to establish personal boundariesHow to work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries - and how to work with one who doesn't
Drs. Cloud and Townsend help you understand the friction points and even the serious hurts in your marriage - and move beyond them to mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy. - Audible Audio Edition
- Listening Length: 9 hours and 5 minutes
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Unabridged
- Publisher: Zondervan
- Audible.com Release Date: January 16, 2001
- Whispersync for Voice: Ready
- Language: English
- ASIN: B00005AARI
This was the first book by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend that I have read. Therefore, I can neither confirm nor deny another reviewer's statement that it is essentially a rehash of the original Boundaries book. Having not read any of the other Boundaries books yet, I found this one to be quite excellent.
Whether or not you are a believer in Christ, this book can still be incredibly helpful if you're willing to read it with an open mind. It may even be helpful if you have a closed mind and you don't even want it to be helpful. ;) The strength in it is that it is not a "How To" book. The authors realized that lists of surface actions to change don't change the heart. They focus on pointing out principles and revealing truth. They give plenty of examples and paint pictures of how certain actions make others feel. This helps you see beyond yourself, thus allowing you to interact with your spouse with greater grace and mercy. The changes in your actions are the result rather than the solution.
Another thing I really like about this book is that it explains what submission and sacrifice in marriage really look like in the Bible and not in what the world believes that to look like. It explains that submission is always to be done in love and with the perspective of EVERYTHING that God has taught us through His Word. This means that submission and sacrifice do not mean giving up all your desires and doing everything your spouse tells you to do; it means upholding your responsibility to love your spouse no matter what (ie. loving them enough to help support the end of unhealthy behaviors and actions).
This book saved me in more ways than one. I love my husband, but he has some major character flaws that are deeply rooted, anger being the chiefest among them. I'm a passive, quiet, peace-loving person who doesn't handle confrontation or high-stimulus very well. So when my husband started swearing and yelling quite soon after being married, I was shocked. We both come from a very religious background that encourages marriage and respect in relationships, but somehow he had missed that part. I didn't know what to do, quite honestly. Initially, I would cry. He accused me of trying top manipulate him somehow by crying! So I learned to not show any emotion. When I wasn't shocked and scared of him, I tried to talk things out. I never got as emotional as he did, because I didn't think every problem required such huge reactions when we could just go straight to the problem-solving and skip the "woe is me/us" part. So he thought I was apathetic if I didn't get as emotional or dramatic.
I won't get too specific, but to give you an idea of how irrational he gets when angry, he has threatened to leave our 3 year-old son at home while we go out because he didn't finish his dinner (don't worry, I was sane enough not to allow that!). He makes up the strangest punishments for our kids that just sound vengeful to me, childish, even, like something you would do to your kid-brother when you're 10, not something you would dish out to your child as their father. He yells at me when the house isn't perfectly clean, so I clean till it's shining, and he still yells! It makes no difference. He just overreacts when he's stressed out, regardless of how perfect I am or how hard I try to please him.
My husband is also very tender and sensitive to others' feelings.
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