Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior Author: Kerry Patterson | Language: English | ISBN:
B006GA4WL6 | Format: EPUB
Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior Description
The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing bad behaviour Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations.
Includes scripts modelling the best way to deal with confrontations.
- File Size: 1449 KB
- Print Length: 284 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Up to 4 simultaneous devices, per publisher limits
- Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (August 26, 2004)
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B006GA4WL6
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #46,430 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #82
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Business & Money > Skills > Communications
- #82
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Business & Money > Skills > Communications
I surprised myself by reading almost the entire book during a two-week trip to Thailand w. The authors do a great job of showing how NOT stepping up has allowed catastrophic consquences to result. For example, the co-pilot who chose not to speak up when the pilot was preparing to take off in freezing weather with ice building up on the wings. All that survived was the cockpit tape that has the copilot hinting at the danger and not taking a powerful stand with the pilot. Our circumstances are not likely to be that drastic, but it is really very serious business.
I like that the book recognizes that speaking up can be risky and talks about how to make reasonably sure that you won't hurt your career or relationship when you choose to speak up.
The keys to managing the conversation so you don't get off in the weeds and get a valuable result begin with stepping back for a moment and remembering how you got to your reaction. The authors say we start by seeing or hearing something, draw come conclusions, react and then take action. If you review what exactly are the facts you started with and what are the interpretations or conclusions you came to, you are free to share it as a story the other person can understand. If you speak as if your conclusions are facts, you can lose the rapport you need to have a good outcome.
I like the question the authors suggest asking yourself to get to how to start a conversation that doesn't amount to an attack: "What would cause a reasonable, rational and decent person to act like this?" Answering that question puts me in a frame of mind to begin with an attitude of mutual respect.
As I read this exceptionally informative book, I was again reminded of the fact that the Chinese word for "crisis" has two meanings: peril and opportunity. Since posting the review, a reader's comment (please see below) identifies an essay that brings into doubt the common belief in the dual meaning to which I referred. However, I remain convinced, linguistic issues aside, that every crisis does pose both peril or opportunity and that how we respond is for us to determine.
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As those who have been or are now involved in process simplification initiatives already know, every problem encountered offers a valuable learning opportunity. The same is also true when encountering "broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior" either within or beyond the workplace. The authors of this volume address questions such as these:
What's a "crucial confrontation"?
What to do before one occurs?
How to know when -- and when NOT -- to initiate one?
How to "get your head right before opening your mouth"?
How to begin a crucial confrontation?
How to involve and engage others to take appropriate action?
How to make keeping commitments (almost) painless?
What to do when others "get sidetracked, scream, or sulk"?
What to do after a crucial confrontation?
How to gain commitment and move to action?
How to solve "big, sticky, complicated problems"?
How to deal with the truly tough? (i.e. the twelve "yeh buts")
The authors also provide four appendices: A self-assessment for measuring confrontation skills, "The Six-Source Model," "When Things Go Right," and discussion questions for reading groups.
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