The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: Author: John W. James | Language: English | ISBN:
B001NLKYIS | Format: PDF
The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: Description
Newly updated and expanded to commemorate its twentieth anniversary—this classic resource helps people complete the grieving process and move toward recovery and happiness.
Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness. Drawing from their own histories as well as from others', the authors illustrate how it is possible to recover from grief and regain energy and spontaneity. Based on a proven program, The Grief Recovery Handbook offers grievers the specific actions needed to move beyond loss. New material in this edition includes guidance for dealing with:
Loss of faithLoss of career and financial issuesLoss of healthGrowing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home- File Size: 298 KB
- Print Length: 226 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0061686077
- Publisher: Harper Perennial; 20th,Anniversary edition (October 6, 2009)
- Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
- Language: English
- ASIN: B001NLKYIS
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,147 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #14
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Death & Grief - #36
in Books > Self-Help > Death & Grief > Grief & Bereavement
- #14
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Death & Grief - #36
in Books > Self-Help > Death & Grief > Grief & Bereavement
One very simple truth is brought forth in this powerful little book. Bluntly, the majority of our society does not know how or even want to deal with the negative ("bad") feelings which are the natural response to loss.
We've been trained that "boys don't cry", "have a cookie and you'll feel better", "forget the past", in other words stuff the feelings that make other people uncomfortable. Or as a good friend of mine use to do, compartmentalize: put everything in boxes in your mind and put them on a shelf in the back so you don't have to deal with them and they don't have to bother anyone else.
Unfortunately, emotional pain can be like an infection in your body. It may be scabbed over, but it's going to keep festering until you do what is necessary to heal it. Some people respond to the built up, festering pain by actually becoming physically ill. Some people grab an uzi and head to the mall. Then some people become angry, bitter people who turn to alcohol and/or drugs to numb the lifetime of unresolved pain. Either way the outcome isn't good for that person or the people around him/her.
This book helps the reader to understand these concepts clearly and simply. Then it gives you tools to finally heal. If you have lost a loved one to death, rest assured that the goal is NOT for you to bury them again, by trying to make you let go of your relationship with that person. It IS about expressing the pain caused by the loss and letting go of only that pain so that you can remember your loved one with a smile instead of a knife in the heart.
After my husband passed away, I worked with a grief recovery coach who trained at the Grief Recovery Institute with the authors of this book and founders of the institute.
I read this book a few years ago, while I was in the midst of an unraveling relationship. I was coping with that loss and a very difficult year and dealing with 20 years of unresolved grief from my father's death when I was six. At the time, I had taken baby steps toward healing by finally opening up to my friends and loved ones, but I was having a great deal of difficulty moving on. I decided to take a course on Death and Dying as part of my degree program, and this book was required reading. Not only did I have to read it, I had to do all the exercises and share them with people in the course.
I hated every single minute of it--mostly because, I think, I wasn't altogether ready to rip off the scabs from years of suffering. I was also never an open person, so it felt trite and intrusive. Despite that feeling, I gave it my all. I rolled my eyes a lot and complained a lot. I didn't think it helped at all. Shortly thereafter, my Mama got terminally ill. I had to basically give up my life to take care of her. I found myself face-to-face with so much grief in such a short amount of time that I didn't know how to even breathe. But I realized that I was able to face the grief this time because of the work I'd done with this book. After my Mama passed away, I used the techniques in the book to deal with these new pains. And I've since tried to do these things for every unresolved event/painful relationship in my life.
This book is not miraculous, but it does give you a method of doing the work you need to do. For me, no matter what grief it is, the key is to acknowledge it exists. That's what this book does. It provides a gate to fully acknowledging the pain in your life--sometimes, the pain is connected to other pain and you're unaware of it.
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